Well, I should say I can’t stop getting lucky. I’ve only participated in Fantasy Football twice, and both times I came out on top. Oddly enough, I think I actually beat Aaron’s wife, Suzy, both times in the championship match.

This season, Davis was able to set up a Standard Prize Eligible League for free from ESPN since we all participated in the ESPN Fantasy Baseball League last year, which means I actually received a prize – or trophy of sorts – to show off my luck…uh, I mean dominance.

Now, despite all of my success in the fantasy sports world, I still don’t like it very much, and I’m sure next year, I’ll be just as hesitant to participate as I have been the last couple of times. Why? I just hate the time it takes to follow every player on your team, combing the free agents to fill out your roster or replace underachievers, the debate on whether or not your underachievers could hurt you later if you drop them and an opponent picks them up, etc. It just takes way too much thought and focus for a responsible adult (I’m still debating if that’s me or not). I refuse to spend too much time worrying about my team each year, but it’s inevitable. If your team is in a position to win as the season starts drawing to a close, the very hint of success triggers something in each of us (except for Suzy, I guess), to finally manage our teams like there’s something worthwhile at the end of it all. Something bigger than a bobblehead with Fantasy League Champ painted on it and lame blog entry to accompany the photo.

In the end, although my football knowledge helped me a bit, the success comes down to luck. I mean, here are some simple examples off the top of my head from my two championships of plain luck:

• In the 2004 Season, Aaron drops Mushin Mohammed early on because he’s not performing well. I pick him up and he has a career year. Aaron’s team becomes the laughing stock of his own league.
• In that same season, Daunte Culpepper has his best year, rivaling Peyton Manning’s then record-breaking season. He was on my team…I didn’t participate in the draft.
• Again, in the 2004 season, I trade Ladanian Tomlinson for Jamal Lewis so I could have a Raven on my team. Bad trade that should’ve hurt me, but it all worked out as I lost only 2 regular season games.
• 2004, I have Jerome Bettis on my team per luck of the auto draft. He barely has any yards (as expected), but he scores every close-yardage TD (13) for the Steelers and becomes a huge points guy for me (not expected).
• Brian Davis’ team, who dominated all year, scoring more points than any other team (1454-1133), fails to put up enough points to beat me in the playoffs. My team, who finished with only 4 points more for than against (1134-1130), has their best two weeks. The upset is complete.
• Davis’ team, who dominated our division loses to Suzy, providing me an almost guaranteed path to my amazing “trophy” (below).
• Brian also dumps Roddy White, who I quickly snatch up…he helps lead me to the championship with some big games (26 points over two weeks) to close out the season. I win by 24 (144-120).
• This year, Suzy’s pregnant and traveling with Aaron and doesn’t update her roster for the two-week championship playoff. Her bench was mostly injured, but I think she had 3 starters out on the last weekend, including her starting QB. Again, I win.

I’m sure there are other subplots, but in the end, my point should be more or less proven. Success lies more in the luck of other people and their poor player management, surprise players putting up surprisingly high statistics, and whether or not Jessica Simpson is at the game, than it does in your “skills” as a team manager. This just isn’t my type of game, because I’ve never found success when luck was the deciding factor between winning and losing in anything. I just don’t have any luck. Well, except for in fantasy football…

Below is my “trophy” – a Tom Brady bobblehead. I had the choice between a t-shirt, a banner, or a bobblehead of Brady, Moss, Addai, or Adrian Peterson (the one with talent). ESPN obviously thinks that if your team won, you must’ve had one of these point-crushing beasts. I didn’t have any of these guys on my team, so I went with the guy that was supposed to get his 4th ring on Sunday – even though it bares little resemblance to Brady himself. Thanks, Tom. Now I have a goofy bobblehead of you at my desk and you’re a failure. That should reflect well on me. Thanks a lot. Ha ha.