I can’t believe I never reviewed the movie “30 Days of Night”, but I picked up the King of Leon CD “Only By The Night”, and the first track (“Closer”) is mesmerizing. I think I find it so good because it immediately reminded me of 30 Days of Night, and how tight that movie was. I have no idea if the song was written about that movie, but if it wasn’t, it would’ve been a perfect fit for it. Frickin’ moody and tight as hell. “Closer” started me off on the right foot as I went through the entire album a good 10 times. I think the first half of the album crushes the later songs, but it’s a solid listen all the way through.

Anyway, watch 30 Days of Night, then go pick up the latest KoL CD. The first song will kick your ass when you couple it with the vision of the movie. It’s a solid album and the first 4 songs are worth the purchase alone. The album averages 3.9 stars in my iTunes library…an average that may go up the more I listen to some of the lower-rated songs on there.

My effort at putting together a clever headline for this entry probably took a little more time than M. Night Shyamalan’s effort in writing The Happening, so please forgive me. I’m sure you’ll hear many references similar to my headline for this very sub-par movie in the coming weeks until it quietly dies.

The Happening starts brightly enough. The opening titles with the fast-forwarding rolling clouds was really nice, and the music set the tone for a strong, creepy opening. Unfortunately, after about 10 minutes, the movie falls to complete crap. I would think a story about a unexplained phenomenon that causes people to commit suicide would be so much better.

First, you have lifeless characters who are terribly drawn up in the script. There’s an underlying love story that’s is too uncomfortable to believe – I mean, there’s just no chemistry between the two primary characters (Mark Wahlberg & Zooey Deschanel) throughout the movie. Then you’ve got a bunch of useless extra characters that only work in taking away from any focus that the story starts to build.

I get it…another post-9/11 flick about an unnatural event causing havoc on the masses, but this is no Cloverfield. Beautiful camerawork and so-so concept aside, the dialogue was weak, the characters weren’t strong, and the movie left you wondering where the payoff was. Was it worth watching? I guess, but I imagine most viewers are going to be really disappointed – especially when they realize that Shyamalan forgot to write in his characteristic plot twist.

Even though Shutter received only 8 percent on rottentomatoes – deeming it the most rotten movie I’ve ever decided to see in spite of their rating – my penchant for horror flicks overtook me and I went anyway.

I’m not sure if it was thaaaaaat bad, but it wasn’t anything spectacular, either. While Shutter does maintain that Japanese horror flick vibe – in location, story, and direction – it does stop short of being just another Ring rip-off. I’m sure there are about 50 Japanese horror flicks that this does mimic, but since I haven’t seen most of them, Shutter makes for a decent thriller.

There’s a good story behind this short, yet slow-paced flick, but most viewers will probably find the movie too clichéd and a little boring. Shutter could’ve benefited from the more formulaic approach to horror to bump the entertainment value, but as it is, it just comes off as another indie-like horror film with that all too familiar Japanese creepiness.

Rambo was tight. Now, I don’t mean tight as in Shawshank Redemption tight or anything, but it was a great hour-and-a-half of entertainment. That is, if you can stand watching a movie that makes you feel like you should’ve brought a poncho for all the blood. The only thing manlier than this movie is probably Bruce Campbell covering Hungry Like The Wolf. Ha ha.

I can’t really put into words the amount of destruction, un-politically correctness, and raw gore. Some of the over-the-top shock value is up there with Cannibal Holocaust as you see babies being thrown into fires, raping of prisoners, assumed pedophile action, and other insane civil war antics like throwing land mines into water and making prisoners run while betting on which one blows up first. The realistic blood, guts, and flying extremities is done just as well, if not better, than Saving Private Ryan. Some people may get bored counting the deaths, but the movie does a good job mixing up the killing techniques and explores a lot of different ways that bullets can disassemble the human body.

The story is pretty simple, but it’s Rambo. There’s not a lot of heartwarming substance coming at you even if there’s supposed to be a hint of it. It’s just a high body count with a lot of explosions and fun characters. There were a few things that bugged me about the idiot missionaries actually wanting to go into Burma, but whatever. In the end, the point of the movie just isn’t in the story – it’s the entertainment value. Don’t go in expecting anything more than disgusting, yet somehow funny (to me, at least), scenes of violence, big explosions, big guns, thunderous sounds effects, and the unwavering cold stare of John Rambo. I loved it, but only because the entertainment value was definitely worth my money and I know how to go into a movie like this with adjusted expectations.

The one thing that was sort of funny was the crowd – white twenty-something goofballs, some with red cloths tied around their heads as an homage to a certain John Rambo character. They cheered so loud at the beginning that the theater actually sent a little troll worker to yell at everyone, “Attention you young people. If you yell and scream like that again, I’m going to kick all of you out. Enjoy the movie”.  It’s a good thing that the next round of cheering came at the end.

I don’t want to spoil anything (but I probably will), so all I can say is Cloverfield absolutely blew my mind. It’s definitely one of the best movies I’ve seen in recent memory, but it’s a movie that a lot of people aren’t going to like.

Yeah, there are a few things that are a bit unbelievable, but nothing is distracting enough to ruin the enjoyment of the movie (camera batteries really last that long?). Spielberg must be pissed that he didn’t do War of the Worlds in the same fashion, because they’re quite similar in a sense, but where this movie succeeds and his failed was that War of the Worlds went off into directions that were too far from its successes. War of the Worlds started off pounding this realistic, well-executed fear into the viewer, but then it became a typical approach to the modern movie.

Cloverfield didn’t stray too far from its successes. It was simply and hour-and-a-half of fear and entertainment. A lot of people complain about the camera work, but it’s perfect (okay, maybe it’s a little ridiculous to think that a guy would continue to worry about filming the ENTIRE catastrophic event, but for whatever reason, it didn’t bother me here). There was a warning at the ticket counter about motion sickness, but I didn’t feel it at all. For me, having the movie shot from the first person was really cool, and highly effective. Maybe I’m just tired of this dolly-perfect camera work every time I go to a movie. Ooh…look at that incredible pan! Ha ha. Screw that. Give this desensitized American something he doesn’t see every day.

Is there an element of Blair Witch at work here with the camera work? I guess, but this is far better than Blair Witch. The characters did a fine job in terms of acting, and in the end, I felt that they were as convincing as they could be for a movie that was this over-the-top.

What the heck is that thing? By now, you know it’s a monster. More times than not, I don’t buy into monster flicks, but again, this time I wasn’t bothered by it. Just like in “The Mist”, the monster(s) aren’t really the focal point of the movie. The focus in the movie is on the way people react to crisis situations. What happens when fear takes over our weak minds?

Here’s my favorite part (SPOILER ALERT!!!), and to get my point across, I sort of have to add a spoiler. Most movies in this genre provide some root of this evil destroying New York, or whatever city happens to be the focal point. Maybe it’s an Alien invasion (War of the Worlds). Maybe it’s a virus (28 Days Later). This movie doesn’t do that…ever. That only aids in the success of maintaining fear. You never find out why this monster is destroying New York. You don’t know what it is, you don’t know where it came from, and we’ll never find that out – at least from solely watching the movie.

You’re just spending an hour-and-a-half in the lives of a few regular people, like you or I, put in the middle of a horrifying experience. The setup lays it out to be that way, and the execution of the entire film maintains that integrity. The characters are fragile, physically and mentally, just like you or I. The characters don’t do anything extraordinary. This isn’t some Americans-always-save-the-day story like Independence Day. This is a well-done, and highly entertaining thrillfest, with  solid special effects, and a simple story of hope and survival. Go check it out to see if they do, in fact, survive. My only recommendation…see it in the theater.

When it’s all said and done, I think Bad Robot – the production company behind that awesome show we call “Lost” – did an excellent job.