Welcome to America 2008. The land of free speech…er, as long as it’s politically correct. By politically correct, I mean, everything you say on the airwaves must be so neutralized that it can’t offend anyone. This is the land of people taking offense over everything – even when they, as listeners – make the conscious decision to listen to the personalities that are known for such offensive material.

Don’t get me wrong. America is definitely better than just about everywhere in the world, BUT, that doesn’t mean that it’s not over-the-top ridiculous right now in some areas, and showing no sign of lightening up.

It’s great that we have the opportunity to listen to idiots like Howard Stern for that vulgar, no-holds-barred, sex-induced radio. Maybe you’re a racist, judgmental right-winger and Rush Limbaugh is your cup ‘o tea. Whatever you like, enjoy it – because at any moment, one off-color joke, one cynically comedic moment, one statement made for little more than shock entertainment value may take that personality that you’re so connected to on your commute away from you. I’m sure the ten people who listen to Imus know what I mean.

After two-plus years in Pittsburgh, I’ve grown quite fond of the now-defunct Mark Madden show on 1250 ESPN radio. Madden was a hilariously opinionated sports talk show host. Everything that came out of his mouth had that matter-of-fact feeling to it. I didn’t always agree with him, but I thought he was hilarious. He was brutally honest and didn’t like to drink whatever the local homers drank. If the Steelers, Pens, or Buccos were playing like arse, Madden was objective about it. Of course, the homers didn’t like that.

Madden belittled the moronic callers and patronized the semi-knowledgeable ones. He referred to himself as “The Super Genius”, and wasn’t ashamed to wear his ego on his sleeve. The guy was an obnoxious a-hole for the most part – but that’s why I listened to him. On top of that, he was generally on-point with his sports knowledge. Oh, and he also stuck up for soccer, which is a rarity in this town. I’ll let it slide that he was a Liverpool supporter, but at least he was a true supporter.

So there you have it. Here’s a guy who has cemented his radio personality, has a large fan base, knows what he’s talking about (for the most part), and uses his rude, egotistical demeanor to entertain. Heck, if you’ve ever had to commute in Pittsburgh, entertainment is highly necessary to keep you from going all Bill Foster (Falling Down) on the world.

Of course, like the Tex Mex Tower at TGI Friday’s, all good things must come to an end. I happened to miss the show when Madden, upon hearing about Ted Kennedy’s brain tumor, said, “I’m very disappointed to hear Senator Ted Kennedy of Massachusetts is near death because of a brain tumor. I always hoped Senator Kennedy would live long enough to be assassinated. And I wonder if he will receive a get well card from the Kopechne family”.

Yeah, what he said might’ve crossed some lines, but to be fired for that really annoys me. It doesn’t annoy me because I think what he said isn’t wrong (although frankly, I could care less as I don’t know how it truly offends me), but because what ESPN is going to do is replace him with someone who’s too conservative. I’m not talking politics here. I’m talking boring. Who’s going to make me laugh when they’re literally just talking sports?

I don’t listen to Mike & Mike for their take on sports only. I like the banter. I like the on-the-fly reactions, the mistakes, the jokes. With Madden, I like his brash sense of humor. I like feeling bad for Jim Colony as Madden constantly belittles him. I liked Mark telling an idiot caller that, well, the guy’s an idiot. And, I also like when he crosses the line, any line, because those lines are what add spice into a normally redundant world of sports journalism.

A lot of people here don’t like him, but that’s why they have the choice to ignore his show on the poor-reception AM band. I’m beyond tired of entities like ESPN telling me what is right and wrong, what I can or can’t listen to or watch. ESPN is essentially bowing to the 10 people who actually were offended. ESPN loves to think it’s so important that their reputation actually matters. You know what, you corporate sport destroyers? You ruin your reputation every time you cover nonsense that truly doesn’t relate to sport. You ruin your reputation every time you have some moron analyst cover a game they’ve never even played. You ruin your reputation by spending too much time covering the same things that are going to hurt our sporting landscape for the next decade. Mark Madden is the least of your worries, but thanks for recognizing that. Now that you’ve kicked him to the curb, you’re finally that amazing franchise of clean-cut, greasy-hair sporting, over-priced suit wearing shills, who spit out statistics and make predictions that are hardly ever right. You’re finally the stand-up guy in the sports entertainment market.

Yesterday was the most lame drive home ever thanks to ESPN’s swift judgment. I can’t possibly be the only person in Madden’s audience who actually let out an uncomfortable chuckle when they heard what Madden said, and thought, “wow, I’m sure glad I live in America, and people have the right to say something that ridiculous”. I guess I’m wrong.

Today, in the wake of yesterday uneventful news on Spygate, Mike Tirico and Scott Van Pelt asked Ladainian Tomlinson if he thinks the whole Spygate thing needs to go away, or if he’d like to see more come from it. Like any sane person, LT said that he just wants it to end because he thinks that it’s going to be bad for the league if it doesn’t. My personal opinion happens to agree with him 100%.

It was time to move on from the whole affair early last season, and Arlen “I obviously have too much time on my hands” Specter needs to worry about more pressing issues that actually relate to his job. Corruption and manipulation of the rules are going on in just about every large corporation out there (Enron, anyone?), and the cause/effect of some of those scenarios far outweighs the impact of how the NFL, as a multi-billion dollar corporation, is run. Here we go again. Let’s print another couple of million dollars to hire your independent team to investigate Spygate. Tell Bush to stop printing those relief checks.

It’s a shame that we, as taxpayers, are paying Mr. Specter to focus his efforts into making sure the NFL’s procedures are legit, which is simply an entertainment medium. Let the NFL run itself poorly, sir. You get back to running your state and country. I’m more worried about how bad the roads are for my trips to games, and how much it’s going to cost for me to drive to the games this coming year, than I am about what the Patriots did in the past. After all, the Patriots are just a football team, and they’re here to entertain me just like American Gladiators or the WWE…if that’s your thing (it’s not mine, by the way).

Steroids in the past, technology today. The competitive edge has to come from somewhere, and we’re never going to see the end of such efforts to get ahead. The Patriots aren’t going to be filming any time soon, but another team will beat the system for a while in their own way. I’d be willing to bet that most teams that have had some semblance of a dynasty have something other than pure talent lurking in the shadows. As the rules have changed, so have the methods in which the teams and players have broken them. Just sit back and enjoy the game. I loved watching McGuire chase the HR record. I loved watching the Pats win (even as an anti-Pats fan) in the dying seconds of a Super Bowl. That’s why we watch. I want to be entertained and patronized. I don’t care if it’s fake, as long it’s transparent to me. If my apathy offends you, oh well.

The only thing this hoopla is achieving – whether it’s highlighting steroids in baseball, or the videotaping of the Pats – is ruining the “ignorance is bliss” fantasy that us fans have enjoyed for decades in our beloved sports. We’re watching heroes fall left and right because the media has too much time on their hands, and small-time hacks like Matt Walsh desire their 15 minutes of fame. Maybe ESPN should go back to one channel, so they only have to fill up enough time to cover the sports, and not the other junk we get pelted with. Can we please just get back to enjoying the game? I’m tired of people trying to dig up information on past events. If you didn’t catch them then, leave it at that. You can’t change the past, and the more asterisks that are placed next to our devastated heroes, the worse each respective sport looks.

If you’re going to go back to look at a team’s past infractions, please feel free to go back and review every single situation imaginable. If you’re going to ruin our sports, let’s do it the American way – unrelentingly balls out. Let’s go after the Steel Curtain and the alleged rampant steroid use by those teams of the 70’s. Let’s research every championship ever played for match-fixing. Let’s find out how many women Wilt really slept with. After all, we are all about the truth these days, right, Mr. Specter? Maybe we should find out which models and actresses have had plastic surgery and which haven’t. I mean, we wouldn’t want to be deceived while watching a movie, or skimming next year’s SI Swimsuit Issue. Is Jessica Biel really that hot, or is that all plastic surgery and makeup?

I’m sorry, Arlen, but we can’t even get a straight story from our own President, and you’re making us focus on the lies from an entertainment venture? Once our sports are beaten to death by the government’s involvement, and people turn their backs on the mass distraction called sports, they may very well turn their attention to you and your political cohorts. I’m sure you’ve never broken any rules, have you?

You, Senator, are an ass.

My idiots guide to voting for the President of our great democracy always started with the bumper sticker debate. If you’re completely apathetic, or incapable of forming your own educated opinion, just drive around (rush hour is recommended), and every time some jackhole cuts you off, doesn’t use a turn signal, drive 10 miles under the posted speed limit, rubbernecks, gets in an accident, drives while reading or preening, etc., take a quick look at their car. Does that person have a supporters bumper sticker for either candidate?

If so, remember that. Tally your results. Then when election day comes, simply vote for the person who has the least number of total morons supporting them. Just as you may correctly judge a person by the company they keep, you can probably judge your candidate based on the idiots who support him (or her). Driving is such a great measure of a person. It takes intelligence, logic, reasoning, focus, and confidence to drive well. It takes thinking ahead, planning, and execution. If a person can’t drive, what makes you think they can vote with any semblance of intelligence? Are they equally slow and hesitant with they’re opinion as they are to change a lane?

While I’m sort of kidding, the reality is that election season bring out the morons en mass; resembling Romero’s Land of the Dead zombies who, while evolved a little more than their predecessors, are still complete idiots. That movie was awful, by the way.

Anyway, I’m so sick of this election already. McCain is playing the game too safe in such turbulent times. He’s too much of a politician for me to trust, and he proves it daily as he sits back and watches the idiot democrats make mistake after mistake. Of course, the mistakes that he’s watching aren’t really mistakes at all, but media-hyped nonsense that really doesn’t matter when it comes to the actual job of being the President of this stumbling democracy. Does Hillary’s embellishment of bullet-dodging trips to Bosnia really matter? Really? Does what Obama’s pastor say to his congregation immediately mean that everyone in that congregation is really following, and that he’s unfit to be President? I rarely paid attention in church, so I’m a bad judge on that one.

Is Obama talking too much? Maybe, but he’s not saying anything that isn’t true. This pathetic, woe-is-me society, can’t take honesty. There’s actually a lot of truth in the following statements made by Obama:

“You go into these small towns in Pennsylvania and, like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing’s replaced them. And they fell through the Clinton Administration, and the Bush Administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not.”

“And it’s not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.”

Can you honestly tell me that he’s wrong? I’ve spent the last 5 years in economically depressed towns in Pennsylvania. I lived in Johnstown, and now Pittsburgh, and what Senator Obama said isn’t far from the truth. The problem is that people don’t want to hear the truth. Instead of spending a few minutes of raw introspection and realizing that, “yeah, I guess he’s right”, and trying to figure out solutions, they’ll condemn the man for his brutally honest views. Sorry, he hurt your feelings, Cletus.

Is he an elitist? Who cares? This media-hyped discussion and over-examination is so goofy. The President of the United States is almost always going to be an elitist. Do you think Dubya isn’t one? McCain? Hillary? To get there, they’ve mostly attended elitist universities and institutions. They’ve made inflated political salaries, and have been handed the feeling of entitlement and power. Hillary, McCain, all of them – elitists. If you think that any of these candidates really, and I mean, really understands the America people, you’re a tool playing into the media hype and political jargon. You’re probably the idiot who just cut me off with your crooked Hillary ‘08 bumper sticker (by the way, a crooked bumper sticker shows me that you’re even more of an idiot because you can’t figure out how to put a sticker on something straight).

Anyway, for those swerving dolts and those who sit at green lights and extend my 5 mile commute to nearly a half-an-hour, please just look at this election in the simplest terms possible as you shuffle to find your turn signal. Look at the last few years and ask yourself what’s changed in your own life. I have a friend who doesn’t vote and he says that it doesn’t affect him. Have fun with that house search, bro. Myopia and the apathy based on that mentality is the worst thing this country has ever been affected by.

People say they don’t want to pay for national health care with more taxes. When I look at my paycheck and how I get fiscally raped bi-weekly, I understand…for a minute. That mentality is reasonable when you’ve got a job, but what if you get cancer, or you’re in an accident. An acute injury or disease could put you out of a job, or leave you broke with medical bills. Of course, why would anyone think of that? They think that the only people who are going to benefit from national health care are the “freeloaders”, but a lot of deserving people will as well. That “deserving” person could be you someday. You do realize that most of your money is going to pay for those inflated pharmaceutical prices, right? You worry about gas prices? Look in your medicine cabinet. That’s a profit margin so ridiculous that George Orwell probably couldn’t have imagined it. You’ve gotta love legalized chemical dependency.

Issue after issue, there are tons of examples of this idiot mentality. This me-first thought process when voting makes me lose hope in our future. It’s not about me, it’s not about you. It’s not even about today. It’s all about tomorrow.

Frankly, I just want change. I’m willing to vote for Obama simply because he isn’t experienced. He’s not jaded. His idealism might scare many, but look at what the politicos we’ve dealt with for the last however amount of years have accomplished. Recession, pharmaceutical rule, unemployment, declining education standards, skyrocketing higher education costs, uncontrolled illegal immigration, cynicism and apathy. Weeeeee! Hop on the political slide. It’s fun for a second and when you come to a stop, you’re at the bottom. Ride this media wave, and let them influence you. Take that prescription of injected, biased news (conservative or liberal), and enjoy the high. Vote while you’re stoned on this info, and keep the world rolling, so we don’t have to actually stop and think, or be witness to it all. Maybe I’ll peddle blinders outside of voting places come November.

Just like you’ll drive through the ghetto fast, but never think about why you’re in fear. Or you’ll walk by that homeless guy and in your own “elitist” fashion act like you don’t have any money even when you’re pocket is full of change because you think he can fix his life. Sometimes you’re right, sometimes you’re wrong, but you’re no better than Obama for questioning his financial situation, you elitist prick.

Welcome to democracy – year 2008. The year of the spun voter. Year of the safe candidate winning because change isn’t what we need…obviously…I mean…look around. More guns, more glory. Financial divide. Terrorism. Fear. Quick fixes. Freedom. Patriotism. God. Liberal. Conservative. Abortion. Foreclosure. Keywords, people. Eat ‘em up. Chew it, chew it. Make sure you chew enough so you don’t choke. It’ll also improve your digestion of the hard to dissolve. What’s that? War is necessary for our national security. Can I put some ketchup on that? Does it come with a side of hate and ignorance? What’s for dessert?

Of course, Obama can’t have my vote…he claimed yesterday that he’s been a Steelers fan his whole life. Ha ha. Maybe that’s the one thing that I’ll cling to when the election rolls around. I’d hate to actually put thought into who ruins, or improves America over the next 4 years.

I guess I should stop typing this while I drive…

Holy hell. This woman is crazy (here). I guess I should pay more attention to the news, but it’s so ridiculous – probably because of stories like the one involving this Lori Drew lady. I didn’t really follow the story about the girl who committed suicide, supposedly due to myspace bullying, but I saw that no charges were going to be pressed today online, and via article comments, came across Mrs. Drew’s personal blog, titled Megan Had it Coming. Nope. That’s not an editorial mistake (but maybe a run-on sentence). That’s the real name of the blog.

After reading her so-called reasoning, the one thing I was left without was comprehension. I was provided many insights into this crazy woman’s mind, a few is-she-out-of-her-fucking-mind(?) chuckles, and even a miniscule amount understanding, but I definitely couldn’t comprehend her actions. I couldn’t comprehend why an adult would act the way she did, possibly be partly to blame for a child’s suicidal actions, yet vehemently deny any wrongdoing whatsoever. I mean, this chick is heartless…an almost archetype sociopath.

For the two of you out there who may not know what happened, Mrs. Drew felt like her daughter, Sarah’s, once-close friend, Megan, was negatively affecting her daughter. After what seems to be a successful attempt at manipulating her daughter into disliking Megan, Megan fought back, and supposedly starting bulling Sarah and trying to make Sarah see that her parents were manipulating her into not liking Megan. Yeah, it’s confusing. According to Mrs. Drew, Megan was a bully to other children as well (she probably was, but whatever), so to “protect” her daughter and give Megan “a taste of her own medicine”, she created a fake MySpace profile for a fictional persona named Josh Evans. The purpose of Josh, was to get Megan to like Josh, then open up to Josh about how much she hated Sarah and other kids at school, etc., to provide Mrs. Drew with some weird enjoyment, I guess. This woman wanted to trick Megan into talking about other kids in order to turn those kids into Megan’s enemies. It was really an interesting idea, and it obviously worked. Mrs. Drew was able to effectively manipulate an impressionable 13-year-old girl into liking a fake boy, before cyber-dumping her. She created enemies and provided those enemies with the login information necessary for these other teenagers to taunt, tease, and bully Megan via Josh’s profile. Just when you think this plot is getting good, Megan, a young girl with a supposed history of being treated for depression, decides to successfully commit suicide by hanging herself with a belt in her bedroom.

Now, I understand that kids kill themselves, kill others, and do other rash things when they’re bullied, picked on, outcast, etc. The fact that this troubled girl was actually on anti-depression medicine and killed herself has it’s own commentary in itself, but the real troubling thing here is this Lori Drew woman. Here you have a mother who is claiming to protect her child by attempting to destroy another child. I always thought that when your child comes to you with a problem, you work with your child to strengthen your child to deal with said problem. Very rarely should the parents actually need to get involved. I mean, we’re talking about young teenagers here. Getting picked on while trying to figure out yourself and the world around you is part of growing up. That’s the time where you learn to stand up for yourself. You learn to truly deal with social situations. You either fight, or get beat up. You either try to fit in, or you reject that silly juvenile standard of “normal”. You learn about cool. You learn about mean. You learn about your body. You learn what it takes to sort of survive in this fucked up society. Like I said in my last post, parenting really goes a long way in how people turn out. This lady didn’t try to parent her child, and teach her how to deal with the situation. That is, if the situation even needed to be dealt with. These are kids. They say things they don’t really mean, or understand. They’re kids for God’s sake. This lady really seemed to take some minor thing and go insane over it. You would think that if Megan really bothered her daughter, that Sarah and Megan could avoid each other or work it out like most kids do. Was there really a need to create a fake love interest? Was there a need to bully her? I don’t think so.

Bullies grow up, figure out what they were, and usually change for the better. If they don’t, they end up being the one’s that are ostracized. Life sort of has a way of fixing most things naturally. This lady obviously became a little obsessed with the whole thing, and very overprotective of her daughter’s life. My best guess is that this Lori person had a rough time as a child. Maybe she had buckteeth…maybe she was overweight…maybe she had to dress in less-than-trendy clothing…maybe her family was poor…maybe she lived in a trailer…maybe she had 4 arms and a dick and a weird compulsion to constantly touch herself. Who knows, but this woman is truly nuts.

It just seems like no one wins in this whole thing. One family is left searching for answers as to why their daughter committed suicide. Mrs. Drew’s family is probably just as messed up, but in a different way. Her daughter, Sarah, now has to deal with the fact that her mother is a nutcase, while also coping with the awkward eyes of her peers watching her and mentally processing how crazy her mom is (and her mom thought the bullying was bad before). There’s a lot of hatred flying the family’s way because of the juvenile actions of this insecure mother online, probably in-person, and even by me. Ha ha. How can she possibly justify her actions? I don’t know. Read her blog, and get back to me. Until then, I think we can all agree that Lori Drew’s apathetic viewpoint, and desperate attempt to avoid accountability in this whole situation, definitely shows that she’s a self-absorbed, overbearing, self-righteous twat…and a prime example of way too many parents and adults in this society. Hey, at least she’s not still free to harass other children that happen to pick on her fragile daughter. Oh…nevermind.